The One Mindset Shift That Will Change Your Life
Doesn’t that just make you want to read or listen to the podcast? I want to share with you the one mindset shift that changed everything for me, and how this can help you change your life.
When I was 26 years old about 14 years ago, I was diagnosed with cancer. You will never know the 25-year-old Kristin. I used to be a type-A personality, incredibly wound up, stressed about everything sort of person. My oncologist believed that that actually contributed to the type of cancer that I had because that type of cancer is very prevalent in people who are a type-A personality. But what is very interesting, is that I actually have a half-sister who had the same type of cancer at the same age.
I think that if you've ever had some sort of major medical crisis in your life or a near-death experience or something that really rocked your world you've had some kind of mindset shift. I hate that it takes something like that for a lot of us to have this epiphany moment.
What is that epiphany moment?
So what is that epiphany moment? The epiphany moment is when you realize that all of that small crap that gets you all tangled up in knots, that makes you worry, flares up your anxiety, makes you fight with your spouse, and makes you yell at your kids… It's just not important.
The little crap is not important. And you know, it's funny because in life that happens a lot of times. We let the small, bad things control everything that we're feeling and the lens that we see things through. And we tend to ignore the small good things because they are too small.
Constantly be checking yourself
So when you look at things from this perspective, you need to constantly be checking yourself. For me, it wasn't an instant switch. It wasn't like I went through cancer and poof, now I don't worry about the small things anymore. It's something I really have to work at.
What cancer did was make me realize that I have to check these things and leave them at the door. For example, small things would really upset me. When Jeff left clothes on the floor, on his side of the bed, I would get so angry. Which did not make sense, since the way our bedroom is arranged, and when you walk in you can't even see the stuff that may be on the floor on Jeff's side of the bed! But if I would go over there for some reason, I would get so angry to see socks on the floor. I started asking myself “Why, why do I even let it bother me?” “I can't even see what's on the floor over there.”
Big Thing or Small Thing?
Jeff and I have been together forever. We got married when I was 21. We had been married for five years by the time I was diagnosed with cancer. Little things would get me so angry. Even now I can feel the anger coming up especially when I'm having a bad day, or if I'm really stressed out. I am constantly checking and asking myself, “Kristin, is this a big thing or a small thing? Where does it rank on a scale of one to ten? Where does this fit in stuff that I should piss me off? That has real meaning.
For me, a ten is societal injustice or a friend or family member that is gravely ill. So on a scale of zero to ten, socks on the floor is probably a one. So when you think this way it puts things into perspective.
How do you make the mindset shift that will change your life?
So how do you make that shift? There are three things that I highly recommend that have worked really well for me. These things are:
- Meditate every single morning
- As your getting wound up, check-in with yourself
- Do some mindset work
I meditate almost every single morning. There is this app that I like to use called Ten-Percent Happier. I think you'll love the Ten-Percent Happier meditation app. Use my guest pass for 30 days of free access.
First thing, when I wake up, I do this meditation that is on your greatest intentions. Which is focusing on asking yourself what do you want for yourself, for your family, for the world. These meditations can take anywhere from three to ten minutes.
Meditation is one thing that really helps because it gives you some perspective. It helps you ask the right questions about what you want for yourself, your family, and the world. I spend time praying for health, for people to be free from worry and anxiety, especially right now. One thing I always ask for is to not let the small things bother me because I just know that it's like a cascade for me. And so that's something that I ask for every single morning.
Meditation is really important because it teaches you how to breathe and how to how to calm yourself down.
The second thing that I am doing is that when I see myself getting wound up, and I'm starting to stress about all those little small things, I check-in with myself.
A couple of years ago my heart started racing. I was having tachycardia. It would not stop! I couldn't get it under control. And I actually ended up in the hospital. They diagnosed me with cardiomyopathy. Although it's not an issue anymore because I've exercised a lot, I've been taking care of myself and my heart has actually repaired itself.
I've done a lot of work to get my heart back functioning normally. But if you've ever had an anxiety attack or you've had your heart racing, you can feel it building. As you are getting upset, the same thing is happening. Typically you don't go from zero to upset. What happens is it builds up and you can feel it. It turns and you feel it getting bigger and bigger and bigger. And you feel like you're going to explode. When you feel it building you want to make sure you don't get to a ten because that is when you will explode. So, when you feel it building, take a couple of deep breaths. And check-in: ask yourself, “Are these small things? Or is this something big?”
If it's a big thing you need to feel it out. But when it's the small stuff, you need to let it go. So let yourself feel the big things, but let the small things go.
For me, I could not do the acknowledgment or the scaling before I did the meditation
Mindset shift work that will help change your life
The other thing that is really important is to do some mindset work that will help change your life. I have three books that I recommend you read. Pick one of them that resonates with you and work on your mindset.
Books I recommend:
- “Fear is Not the Boss of You” by Jennifer Allwood
- “You are a Badass” by Jen Sincero
- “Life's Golden Ticket: A Story of Second Chances” by Brendon Burchard
The first one is “Fear is Not the Boss of You” by Jennifer Allwood is on I really love because she really tackles fear head-on. If you don't know her, she is a believer and she talks about God in the book. For me, as someone who is trying to figure out what I believe in and what's going on with my faith, I really, really like it. I like the approach that she takes. I think it's a great book and it really made me look at some of my thought processes a little bit. So I'd invite you to check that one out.
If you want something that is less God-focused, then I would check out Jen Sincero's book. “You are a Badass”. I've read both of these books, so I know that you might not like some of the language in Jen's book and you might find the title offensive. If that is you then check out Jennifer Allwood's book. With Jen Sincero's book, as you're reading you'll feel like you are going to take on the world. I really like that. There's a lot of mind work stuff in there that you have to do.
Then the third book that I really like is Brendon Burchard's “Life's Golden Ticket: A Story of Second Chances.” Now this book is actually a novel, a very short read, but a good story. And it makes you think about the stuff that is working in your head, and how that's impacting your life and how you make decisions.
If you don't have time to read you can actually listen to audiobooks. Click here for a free trial for Audible. That's how I'm getting through books right now because for me it's almost impossible to sit down and open up a book and read, and actually stay focused for more than five minutes. So I find audiobooks and listen to them when I'm in the shower, going for a walk, or making dinner. Being able to listen to a book has been very helpful to me.
The One Mindset Shift that will Change your Life
So the one mindset shift that changed my life and will change yours is letting go of the small things. And if you can learn how to do that, that will make a huge impact on all the aspects of your life. Let me know in the comments or on social media, how you're letting go of the small things. Truly, it is an amazing thing. When you can learn to do that it will change your life. It will change your relationships and it will change your business.